"I know music. I hear it every single day."

This apparently constitutes Paris Hilton's credentialing as a singer. Well, I've listened to music, too. But this isn't what I was doing when I endured some samples of Hilton's new CD on iTunes or when I listened to as much as I could stand of three whole songs on the project's web site.

In her defense, Hilton can carry a tune...sometimes. But she seems to have a...ahem...confined range. Billie Holliday she ain't.

One thing unconfined about the project is Hilton's willingness to trade on her reputation as sex object. ("Gonna lose my clothes...Gonna be exposed," she whispers on one track. Now, that's poetry!)

No amount of overproduction could make this CD good. But will it be a hit? Probably. After all, Paris Hilton has found a formula for success...being Paris Hilton.

Yawn.